Snow White and the Seven Deadly Dwarves

Once upon a time there was a princess named Snow White. It's wise to assume that her name was due to her extremely pale skin. It was said that her skin was so pale that if you stared at her long enough, she would seem transparent. Her skin was so pale that it was impossible to look at without squinting. Her skin was so pale that if Native Americans saw her, they would never call white people "pale-face" again.There was also this queen, who thought her skin was the lightest of them all. Upon learning of Snow White and her pale skin, she wisely employed a soft hearted huntsman to kill Snow White and bring back her heart. The sentimental huntsman failed this simple task and told Snow White to run for her life and seek refuge.

Snow White fled into the forest and found a peculiar cottage. She broke in and examined the house, she tried to sleep in the beds but they were too small for her. Nevertheless she managed to sleep in one of them, messing up all the sheets in the process. Snow White opened her eyes hours later to find seven dwarves standing in front of her, looking at her quizzically through squinting eyes. They all had long fiery red hair which were braided carelessly. Some of their beards were long enough to touch the floor and had bits and pieces of food in them. Six of them were carrying huge double edged axes while the other had a warhammer twice his size strapped on his back. "What ye be doin in our house missy?" the one with the hammer asked in a grumpy voice and without even waiting for an answer he slapped Snow White with his huge shovel-like hand and threw her off the bed. Snow White screamed in shock and uttered strange sounds which included the word "witch" but the dwarves would have none of it. "Grab her by her arms" the one with the hammer said. Strong hands seized her by the arms and immobilized her. She thrashed and wailed but her efforts were futile. The last thing she saw was the huge warhammer descending on her pale face. "Stupid meddlesome humans" the dwarf said as he sheathed his bloody hammer.